"KELSO'S SWING" [CHAPTER 45]
Nonstop waves of revelry on the patio of the Tides spilled down into the bar where Kelso and Marstrulavich sat drinking and puffing cigars. Both agreed it was “dangerous up there.” Toni passed them by once, on the way to the john, and pinched Kelso on the ass upon her return as she hopped up the 4 step stairway back into the bedlam. Kaycee and Bobbi came down for a tray of shots, Kaycee in her short shorts, vest sans shirt, and sandals. They urged the coaches to join the girls and the increasing entourage of men hanging around them. Bobbi had several potential suitors to choose from. The coaches watched the two dishes tote the shots up the stairway and disappear.
Marstrulavich said, “Did you notice young Ward Price is nowhere to be seen?”
“No, but I did notice you trimmed your beard to a new level of establishment respectability and got a real haircut. What's going on with you, as if I don't know?”
“Didn't you see Kaycee tongue-lashing poor Ward Price in the parking lot after the game? The poor pretty boy got a taste of the real thing, and now he's been reduced to a beggar. It happens, huh?”
“Did little Annie bananas have anything to do with your new image, Strulo?”
“I think Kaycee's setting you up for the kill, Kelso. I think she thinks she's got you just where she wants you, and she knows it and you know it.”
Suddenly, Bobbi, Kaycee and Toni were behind them, arms looped together. Bobbi announced, “We're goin' down to Murphy's to party. Come with us, you two, we promise not to rape you.”
“Maybe later,” Kelso said shortly.
“Whatsa matter, coach?” Kaycee demanded to know, “You afraid of us bad little girls?”
Kelso glanced at his shaggy self beside his trimmed down friend in the back bar mirror and puffed his cigar. “Who the hell wouldn't be?” he said. “You're like a pack of jackals hunting down fresh meat in the African bush.”
Bobbi began massaging Kelso's shoulders and neck. “You're coming, and so is Marstrulavich.”
Ten minutes later, after a series of toasts and yells on the patio, Bobbi grabbed the two coaches, and, along with Kaycee, Toni and Lacey, they piled into her car and drove to Murphy's. The bar was packed as usual as they swarmed in. Spike, as always, was on the fringe of the Murphy's girls. He immediately joined the Tides contingent as Kaycee took him to the dartboard. Since there were no stools available, Kelso and Marstrulavich stood in the crush drinking. Eli issued them all free shots. Bobbi tipped him a ten spot. Spike came over and introduced himself to Marstrulavich, and, after a few minutes of casual talk, asked them if they wanted to join him in the office for a toot.
“Hell yes,” Kelso said.
“Count me out,” Marstrulavich said, staring at Kelso. “That stuff scares me.”
“It's the best, the cleanest,” Spike reassured him. “I wanna treat you guys. You're my bro's. We're in this together. I got the key to the office from Eli. Come on, you guys have made our league more competitive, made it great, come on...”
They followed him around the bar to the office. Just as they entered, Kaycee wedged in and joined them. She was bouncy and pinched Kelso on the ass, grinning at him. Faking a scowl, she asked, “Why you actin' so mean to me?”
“I ain't being mean to you,” kelso countered.
“I ain't bein' mean to you,” she mocked him in a gruff voice. “You afraid of me?”
“Any man with all his marbles would be,” Kelso answered as they all sat down on a davenport that faced the door. To their left was a large desk and filing cabinets. Before them was a long wooden table with a glass top onto which Spike poured a generous amount of cocaine from a sandwich size zip-lock
plastic bag. He began sifting lines with a credit card, but Kaycee snatched the card away and slowly, carefully, drew lines. She sat between Spike and Kelso. Marstrulavich was on the other side of Kelso. Spike rolled up a twenty dollar bill and handed it to Kaycee who snorted up her big fat line then rubbed her finger along the residue remaining on the glass and ran it along her gums. When everybody finished snorting their lines, Kaycee squeezed Kelso's thigh, grinned at him in an impish manner, and said, “I know you're fucking Toni.”
Kelso re-lit his cigar and puffed. “How would you know?”
As Marstrulavich offered Spike a cigarette, and lit it, then lit his own, and smirked, Kaycee said, “Cuz you act so squirrly around her. You're such a lousy actor. We all know you're a slut. It's okay. You're a big boy. But let's get one thing straight: I did not come on your team because I wanted to fuck you or have a goddam relationship with an impossible asshole like you. I came because you inspire me. You're a great coach. I learned more from you in one hour than I learned my whole life. And you really give a shit about me as a player and a person. The girls, they don't understand you, except Bobbi. They think you're so goddam mean, and they try and win to spite you, to show you we can do it. And dammit, I'm not here to disrupt your team. I love those girls. Every girl on Murphy's hates me because I came over, but I don't give a damn, cuz I fit in here. I'm happy playing with them and playing for you, and I'm not trying to get in your pants and screw up the team...COACH!”
Smoke swirled into their faces. Racket from the bar filtered in. Kelso placed an arm around Kaycee's shoulders and looked directly into her eyes. “You know damn well every man's looking at your ass in those tight shorts, and I'm no exception.”
“So? I'm a stone fox. I like to strut my stuff, I admit. It feels good and I'm gonna sport it as long as I can. Men've been scoping out my ass since I was thirteen and I been wrapping the little darlings around my finger ever since. Live with it.” She gazed up at him with an expression of eager, little-girl expectancy. “Please be my friend, coach,” she said in a sudden little-girl voice. “That's all I want. Don't keep avoiding me and being short with me just because you're scared of me and dying to fuck me.”
Kelso found himself kissing her lightly on the forehead, his arm still around her. “Okay,” he said. “I'll try.”
Spike left a couple lines on the table for Eli and his big blond surfer bartender, Dean. Back in the crush, Marstrulavich nudged Kelso as they stood holding drinks. “Jesus Christ, that stuff's dynamite. I'm flying. No wonder people get hooked on it and throw away their lives.” He shook his head in wonder. “It's too good. You better be careful.”
Kelso, Marstrulavich, and Spike stood gabbing and guzzling and gesturing like old familiar excited best friends about baseball and women until Lacey floated over, pirouetted, took Kelso's cigar, puffed on it, winked at him, shoved the cigar back in his mouth, and said, “You're dancing with me.”
Toni stood beaming at him. He could see both she and Lacey were bugged eyed from cocaine. Kelso slipped his arm around both girls while his dick tingled and allowed them to lead him to the dance floor, which was empty. But soon the jukebox was pumped up to full volume as it blasted out rock 'n roll and within minutes Bobbi and Kaycee pulled Spike and Marstrulavich onto the floor and tossed them around as regulars jumped in.
Within minutes the dance floor was jammed. Kaycee undulated like a belly dancer. She flipped and flopped her lioness's mane of feathered hair up and down and back and forth as Bobbi trooped to the bar and did a shot with Dean and whispered in his ear and received a lingering kiss before returning to the fray. Lacey executed an imitation of Kaycee's undulations and wild gyrations while sucking on Kelso's cigar. Eli and Dean, from behind the bar, saluted them with shots.
Spike dragged the entire crew into another visit to the office. At closing, everybody sweaty and winded on the dance floor, Bobbi suggested they all go skinny-dipping. But where? It was an easy choice as they streamed out of the bar and into Bobbi's car and ten minutes later pulled up behind Kelso's bungalow, waking up those in several houses along the strand.
Marstrulavich said, “Did you notice young Ward Price is nowhere to be seen?”
“No, but I did notice you trimmed your beard to a new level of establishment respectability and got a real haircut. What's going on with you, as if I don't know?”
“Didn't you see Kaycee tongue-lashing poor Ward Price in the parking lot after the game? The poor pretty boy got a taste of the real thing, and now he's been reduced to a beggar. It happens, huh?”
“Did little Annie bananas have anything to do with your new image, Strulo?”
“I think Kaycee's setting you up for the kill, Kelso. I think she thinks she's got you just where she wants you, and she knows it and you know it.”
Suddenly, Bobbi, Kaycee and Toni were behind them, arms looped together. Bobbi announced, “We're goin' down to Murphy's to party. Come with us, you two, we promise not to rape you.”
“Maybe later,” Kelso said shortly.
“Whatsa matter, coach?” Kaycee demanded to know, “You afraid of us bad little girls?”
Kelso glanced at his shaggy self beside his trimmed down friend in the back bar mirror and puffed his cigar. “Who the hell wouldn't be?” he said. “You're like a pack of jackals hunting down fresh meat in the African bush.”
Bobbi began massaging Kelso's shoulders and neck. “You're coming, and so is Marstrulavich.”
Ten minutes later, after a series of toasts and yells on the patio, Bobbi grabbed the two coaches, and, along with Kaycee, Toni and Lacey, they piled into her car and drove to Murphy's. The bar was packed as usual as they swarmed in. Spike, as always, was on the fringe of the Murphy's girls. He immediately joined the Tides contingent as Kaycee took him to the dartboard. Since there were no stools available, Kelso and Marstrulavich stood in the crush drinking. Eli issued them all free shots. Bobbi tipped him a ten spot. Spike came over and introduced himself to Marstrulavich, and, after a few minutes of casual talk, asked them if they wanted to join him in the office for a toot.
“Hell yes,” Kelso said.
“Count me out,” Marstrulavich said, staring at Kelso. “That stuff scares me.”
“It's the best, the cleanest,” Spike reassured him. “I wanna treat you guys. You're my bro's. We're in this together. I got the key to the office from Eli. Come on, you guys have made our league more competitive, made it great, come on...”
They followed him around the bar to the office. Just as they entered, Kaycee wedged in and joined them. She was bouncy and pinched Kelso on the ass, grinning at him. Faking a scowl, she asked, “Why you actin' so mean to me?”
“I ain't being mean to you,” kelso countered.
“I ain't bein' mean to you,” she mocked him in a gruff voice. “You afraid of me?”
“Any man with all his marbles would be,” Kelso answered as they all sat down on a davenport that faced the door. To their left was a large desk and filing cabinets. Before them was a long wooden table with a glass top onto which Spike poured a generous amount of cocaine from a sandwich size zip-lock
plastic bag. He began sifting lines with a credit card, but Kaycee snatched the card away and slowly, carefully, drew lines. She sat between Spike and Kelso. Marstrulavich was on the other side of Kelso. Spike rolled up a twenty dollar bill and handed it to Kaycee who snorted up her big fat line then rubbed her finger along the residue remaining on the glass and ran it along her gums. When everybody finished snorting their lines, Kaycee squeezed Kelso's thigh, grinned at him in an impish manner, and said, “I know you're fucking Toni.”
Kelso re-lit his cigar and puffed. “How would you know?”
As Marstrulavich offered Spike a cigarette, and lit it, then lit his own, and smirked, Kaycee said, “Cuz you act so squirrly around her. You're such a lousy actor. We all know you're a slut. It's okay. You're a big boy. But let's get one thing straight: I did not come on your team because I wanted to fuck you or have a goddam relationship with an impossible asshole like you. I came because you inspire me. You're a great coach. I learned more from you in one hour than I learned my whole life. And you really give a shit about me as a player and a person. The girls, they don't understand you, except Bobbi. They think you're so goddam mean, and they try and win to spite you, to show you we can do it. And dammit, I'm not here to disrupt your team. I love those girls. Every girl on Murphy's hates me because I came over, but I don't give a damn, cuz I fit in here. I'm happy playing with them and playing for you, and I'm not trying to get in your pants and screw up the team...COACH!”
Smoke swirled into their faces. Racket from the bar filtered in. Kelso placed an arm around Kaycee's shoulders and looked directly into her eyes. “You know damn well every man's looking at your ass in those tight shorts, and I'm no exception.”
“So? I'm a stone fox. I like to strut my stuff, I admit. It feels good and I'm gonna sport it as long as I can. Men've been scoping out my ass since I was thirteen and I been wrapping the little darlings around my finger ever since. Live with it.” She gazed up at him with an expression of eager, little-girl expectancy. “Please be my friend, coach,” she said in a sudden little-girl voice. “That's all I want. Don't keep avoiding me and being short with me just because you're scared of me and dying to fuck me.”
Kelso found himself kissing her lightly on the forehead, his arm still around her. “Okay,” he said. “I'll try.”
Spike left a couple lines on the table for Eli and his big blond surfer bartender, Dean. Back in the crush, Marstrulavich nudged Kelso as they stood holding drinks. “Jesus Christ, that stuff's dynamite. I'm flying. No wonder people get hooked on it and throw away their lives.” He shook his head in wonder. “It's too good. You better be careful.”
Kelso, Marstrulavich, and Spike stood gabbing and guzzling and gesturing like old familiar excited best friends about baseball and women until Lacey floated over, pirouetted, took Kelso's cigar, puffed on it, winked at him, shoved the cigar back in his mouth, and said, “You're dancing with me.”
Toni stood beaming at him. He could see both she and Lacey were bugged eyed from cocaine. Kelso slipped his arm around both girls while his dick tingled and allowed them to lead him to the dance floor, which was empty. But soon the jukebox was pumped up to full volume as it blasted out rock 'n roll and within minutes Bobbi and Kaycee pulled Spike and Marstrulavich onto the floor and tossed them around as regulars jumped in.
Within minutes the dance floor was jammed. Kaycee undulated like a belly dancer. She flipped and flopped her lioness's mane of feathered hair up and down and back and forth as Bobbi trooped to the bar and did a shot with Dean and whispered in his ear and received a lingering kiss before returning to the fray. Lacey executed an imitation of Kaycee's undulations and wild gyrations while sucking on Kelso's cigar. Eli and Dean, from behind the bar, saluted them with shots.
Spike dragged the entire crew into another visit to the office. At closing, everybody sweaty and winded on the dance floor, Bobbi suggested they all go skinny-dipping. But where? It was an easy choice as they streamed out of the bar and into Bobbi's car and ten minutes later pulled up behind Kelso's bungalow, waking up those in several houses along the strand.