"KELSO'S SWING" [CHAPTER 25]
Up on the darkened patio, the Tides women unleashed piercing wolf yowls and war whoops and hugged each other while generally ignoring their boy friends and husbands, most of them fleeing down into the bar where it was safer. They were letting off steam and becoming increasingly unruly. Claire lifted her jersey to show off her bombers to a few mopes passing on the sidewalk toward the pier, and Bobbi mooned them. They gave cheers and toasts. They over-tipped and sweet-talked the bartender into turning the jukebox up full blast so that it boomed through the door and out onto the patio and boulevard. A few souls stepped out of the Sunset to observe the increased volume and revelry on the Tampico Tides patio and decided to come over and join them.
An hour later, all husbands and boy friends were shooed home. A few regulars hanging on late were dragged up from downstairs to dance on the patio. Annie grabbed Marstrulavich, a non dancer, and forced him to move around and be laughed at and jeered. Bobbi took Kelso’s sweat-stained Cincinnati cap and pulled it down over her ears. Lacey snatched the cigar out of his mouth and began smoking the soggy stogie and choked on it. Kelso lit up a fresh cigar and Bobbi pulled him into the dancing melee and whispered in his ear, “I’m so damn horny, are you?”
Kelso, feeling her pelvic and breasts press into him, could only mutter, “Always.”
“I haven’t been laid in six months,” Bobbi whispered harshly in his ear. “I’m a good girl. Before I met Bart, I was with the same guy five years. I had a boy friend in high school two years. I’m thirty three and I’ve never played around but now I’m gonna do some trampin’ around. Do you think that makes me a bad girl and a slut?”
“You’re a great girl. You own your own business. You pay your own way. You always buy rounds for everybody. Most men could never stand up to you because you’re independent and successful. Everybody goes to your gift shop because they like you, not just because of your great gifts. You spread good vibes, Bobbi. You’re indispensable to our team. Everybody loves you.”
She pressed harder into him. “Thank you. I needed somebody to say that. I’m glad it’s you, coach.” Peering over her shoulder, Kelso saw that most of the girls were too drunk to realize what was going on, for they danced with each other and the mopes from the Tides and Sunset, and then Monica ran down the stairs and into the street to haul a young blond surfer onto the patio. Only Lacey, Kelso’s slathered stogie stub in the corner of her mouth, witnessed Kelso slip his hand under Bobbi’s shorts and fondle her bare ass. She pressed her pelvic into him.
“I’m gonna fuck yer brains out tonight, coach. I’m not like the rest of our gals—I love it when you lay down the law. I think we need it. All these girls got their men so pussy-whipped it’s disgusting.” She grabbed Kelso’s ass. “You got a prize bum.” She giggled. “Look at Marstrulavich. I think he likes our Annie, and she’s our little beauty queen.”
“She’s pretty dainty,” Kelso concurred.
“You think it’ll wreck our team if we fuck tonight?”
“Not as long as they don’t know.” He spotted Jill, who danced with Penny, eyeing them.
“I already told the girls in our meeting I’m gonna be a vamp. I’ve never been free before. There’s so many gorgeous guys around here, with great bods, and I’m gonna sport fuck their dicks off.”
“You told the girls that?”
“Yer damn tootin’.”
“In those words?”
“I told ‘em I’m gonna fulfill all my fantasies. Bart, all he wanted was blow jobs. He couldn’t get it up, so I gave him blow-jobs. I gave him the best blow-jobs he’ll ever get. He liked to sport me, but he sure didn’t wanna fuck me. He never touched my jugs. He never ate my pussy. He wantsa fuck skinny bitches, like Lacey. Let ‘im.”
“The girls can’t know about this, Bobbi—us fucking.”
“I’ll lie. Every man I’ve ever known lied to me, and I never lie. So now I’m gonna start lyin’.”
“Bobbi, if yah don’t lie, there’s no life.”
She reached down and pinched his hard-on, then disengaged, began visiting with the girls. Lacey grabbed Kelso; and they danced to the same slower tune and he still had his hard-on and she made no effort to squirm away from it, the cigar wedged in the side of her mouth.
“You gonna coach us next year, coach?” she asked, after taking out the cigar.
“If you behave yourselves.”
“I always behave myself, coach.”
“Yeh, you’re an angel, Lacey, a cigar chomping angel.”
“Do you know you’re real funny?”
“My Mom thinks I should’ve been a comedian. But that kind-a goes with the territory in baseball. You don’t make a joke of your shortcomings and failures, you die.”
She had a husky voice and an abrupt, honking laugh. “I like playing for you. You’re not such a mean coach.”
“Next year, I want you to learn to open your hips and start pulling the ball down the right field line and into the gap, instead of hitting everything opposite field.”
She grinned. “You want me to…open my hips?”
Kelso said, “When you’re at bat, I’ll holler, ‘lock your hips,’ and that means I want you slicing the ball into left. Open your hips means I want you pulling the ball.”
A Rod Stewart song came on; wound on and on and on. Kelso pulled her close. Cigars in mouth, they held each other in a dry-humping position until Kelso found his hand on her ass. She slapped it away, squealed, giggled. Then Beth was pulling her away and Marstrulavich was laughing at him and he realized he was pretty damn drunk and best get the hell off the patio and home before he got into the kind of trouble that might jeopardize the team and announced he was going to the john and crept down to the bar for one more shot before slipping out the back door into the alley.
He started down the alley, passing the Sunset and was about to turn onto a walking street leading to the strand when Bobbi pulled alongside him in her Mercedes and wiggled her index finger at him, indicating he should come, a blatantly lecherous grin spreading on her face.
“Get in, coach. I got a hot tub, silk sheets and a water bed.”
Kelso got in.
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