"KELSO'S SWING" [CHAPTER 40]

While the girls and their entourages let off steam on the Tides patio, Kaycee's despair descended into trance-like gloom. As Ward Price lurked in the background, she informed Kelso, who sat downstairs with Marstrulavich, how sorry she was as she leaned toward him in a posture desperately demanding a hug. Leaning away from her, he told her to “take it like a woman.”
But her eyes continued to beseech him in their quest for sympathy, “It's not your fault. You coached me good. You coached me to go back on liners, and I panicked and ran in. We should've beat those girls.”
Bobbi came down to place a comforting arm around her shoulders, “I told her it's not her fault, coach.”
Now Jill was there. “It's nobody's fault. We lose as a team.”
“No, no,” Kaycee sniveled. “I let the team down. Coach recruited me to beat Warner's, and I let us down...”
Kelso said, “Let's do a shot.” He ordered five Schnapps. Everybody downed them. Marstrulavich, holding a cigar between his thumb and forefinger, turned to Kaycee. “Mickey Mantle and Willie Mays misjudged fly balls in center,” he explained calmly, like a professor. “And they were the greatest ever to play that position. We're all human. Even Kelso here, the final authority, made a huge error our senior year in a high school championship game...”
“I threw a doubleplay ball away that would have cinched the game,” Kelso nodded, puffing his cigar. “The game meant everything to all of us. We played all year, won our league, won in the state playoffs, and then, in the championship game, for all the marbles, I hurried a play and cost us the biggest game of our lives.”
“He choked,” Marstrulavich said, a bit gravely.
Now Toni placed her arms around Kaycee from behind.
“I panicked,” Kelso admitted in a trance-like voice.
“But,” Marstrulavich said. “The game before that, he drove in the tying and go-ahead runs. He carried us through the playoffs. We never get to the championship game if Kelso doesn't come up big. His boot was a tough play, he usually makes that play. But he booted it under the most pressure he ever faced up to that point. He was crying worse than you, Kaycee.”
Kaycee grabbed his arm roughly. “You cried? YOU?”
Kelso nodded, “Not in front of my team mates. I knew how bad they felt for me, didn't wanna make it worse. We were all heart-broken. I still think about that game. For us high school kids, a state championship is our world series. This game tonight, it's a league game, for first place. We keep winning, we get another shot at beating those girls and getting first place.”
Toni placed an arm around Kaycee's shoulders. “Get over it, K. I've lost big matches in tennis and volleyball. You make bad plays, you shake 'em off and come back harder next time. You can't get down.” She smiled at Kaycee, her face close to hers. Toni's face was a V with a long narrow chin, high forehead, deep-set brown eyes beneath heavy brows, and her hair was a short, coal-black haystack. “So let's party, girl! And don't forget, you drove in the go-ahead runs!”
They all managed to drag Kaycee back up to the patio. Kelso relit his cigar.
“I gotta hand it to yah, Stroolo,” Kelso said. “That was an ingenious lie you cocked up.”
“Nobody played psychological games better than your dad. Where you think I got the idea to lie to your fucking diva? From your dad. When he coached us in American Legion ball that one year, after he retired, he knew just how far to go on a guy, when to lay off, when to stroke a guy. He made up bullshit to console guys when they fucked up. I bet he used the same stuff running his business.”
Kelso nodded, ordered shots. “I don't know how the hell he got through all those years running the business, now that I'm doin' it. Workin' his ass off in that blighted store, drivin' around in the smog and the traffic, goin' down to the ghetto every morning at seven o'clock, making decisions on what to buy and what not to buy and dealing with each customer, each personality, the deadbeats, the chiselers, the whiners, bogged down in the goddam rat-race day after day, year after year, having to face one dilemma after another. It's so goddam stressful I don't know how he didn't become an alcoholic, and now I can see why he got so goddam irritable after working twelve hours a day and coming home to a smart-ass like me, always fucking up and challenging him and fighting with him, it must've driven him crazy on top of everything else. No wonder he couldn't stand the sight of me.” They drank the shots. “And now I'm tryna fill his shoes when everybody, including myself, knows it's impossible.”
“Nobody can fill his shoes, so don't sweat it.” Marstrulavich said, suddenly philosophic. “Way I see it, you been slacking off all your life, so now you're getting paid back. Life's a joke, and the joke's always on you. Way I see it, no matter how hard you work to keep life simplified, and easy, and painless, something always pops up and plays a dirty trick on you. That's why you gotta savor the peaceful times, the infrequent contentment, the very, very short high points, like winning big games, or getting laid by a good looking woman when you least expect it, or even, well, falling in love.”
Kelso gazed at his friend, weary, drained, drunk. “My dad's customers, and the salesmen he buys from, they all act friendly, glad-handin', like I'm their pal, cuz they know they're stuck with me, cuz they know dad's gonna die, but you can see they think I'm the lazy worthless bum of a son who's probly gonna lose the family bizness,” he ordered two more shots. “I'm the failure of a son who never filled his big league dad's shoes and now I gotta keep this bizness afloat, when this kind-a bizness is on the down-slide and the economy's goin' to shit and everybody's cryin' about how they're broke and can't pay their bills, and not only that, I gotta sell a bizness and a building right in the middle of one of the worst ghettos in the state and find somebody dumb enough to buy it.”
The shots came. They looked at them. Marstrulavich said, “I could never do what you're doing, but I think you can, cuz you got more of your dad in you than you think.”
They downed the shots. Kelso knocked over a stool in leaving, found himself wobbling down the alley past the sunset and veering toward the walking street leading to the strand when a jeep with top down pulled alongside him. Toni, behind the wheel, grinned at him.
“Hiiiii-ee, coach,” she said lazily.
Kelso halted. “Hey kid.”
“Need a ride home?”
Kelso got in. She drove to the rear of his bungalow and turned off the engine and leaned back against the door and continued grinning at him.
“The girls can't find out about this, Toni.”
“Of course not. It'll be our dirty little secret.”
Inside, she quickly stripped, revealing small breasts that stood out against her deep bikini tan like red-nippled snowballs. Her thighs were powerful and her nest trimmed to a wisp and she smiled at him as she began peeling off his clothes. When she finished, she stood back and took him in, and said, “I”ve seen you around for years now, yah know. I've always had the hots for you. You look like one of those statues in Rome, you dog.”
She went to her knees and took him by the hips and said, “I like to take over. You don't mind, do you.”
Kelso shook his head and eventually she pushed him onto his back on the bed and straddled him as Rocky banged through the open front window and sat on the side licking himself while the bed rocked and squeaked. After a while Rocky, who liked to sleep at the foot of the bed, jumped out the window to explore the night.
But her eyes continued to beseech him in their quest for sympathy, “It's not your fault. You coached me good. You coached me to go back on liners, and I panicked and ran in. We should've beat those girls.”
Bobbi came down to place a comforting arm around her shoulders, “I told her it's not her fault, coach.”
Now Jill was there. “It's nobody's fault. We lose as a team.”
“No, no,” Kaycee sniveled. “I let the team down. Coach recruited me to beat Warner's, and I let us down...”
Kelso said, “Let's do a shot.” He ordered five Schnapps. Everybody downed them. Marstrulavich, holding a cigar between his thumb and forefinger, turned to Kaycee. “Mickey Mantle and Willie Mays misjudged fly balls in center,” he explained calmly, like a professor. “And they were the greatest ever to play that position. We're all human. Even Kelso here, the final authority, made a huge error our senior year in a high school championship game...”
“I threw a doubleplay ball away that would have cinched the game,” Kelso nodded, puffing his cigar. “The game meant everything to all of us. We played all year, won our league, won in the state playoffs, and then, in the championship game, for all the marbles, I hurried a play and cost us the biggest game of our lives.”
“He choked,” Marstrulavich said, a bit gravely.
Now Toni placed her arms around Kaycee from behind.
“I panicked,” Kelso admitted in a trance-like voice.
“But,” Marstrulavich said. “The game before that, he drove in the tying and go-ahead runs. He carried us through the playoffs. We never get to the championship game if Kelso doesn't come up big. His boot was a tough play, he usually makes that play. But he booted it under the most pressure he ever faced up to that point. He was crying worse than you, Kaycee.”
Kaycee grabbed his arm roughly. “You cried? YOU?”
Kelso nodded, “Not in front of my team mates. I knew how bad they felt for me, didn't wanna make it worse. We were all heart-broken. I still think about that game. For us high school kids, a state championship is our world series. This game tonight, it's a league game, for first place. We keep winning, we get another shot at beating those girls and getting first place.”
Toni placed an arm around Kaycee's shoulders. “Get over it, K. I've lost big matches in tennis and volleyball. You make bad plays, you shake 'em off and come back harder next time. You can't get down.” She smiled at Kaycee, her face close to hers. Toni's face was a V with a long narrow chin, high forehead, deep-set brown eyes beneath heavy brows, and her hair was a short, coal-black haystack. “So let's party, girl! And don't forget, you drove in the go-ahead runs!”
They all managed to drag Kaycee back up to the patio. Kelso relit his cigar.
“I gotta hand it to yah, Stroolo,” Kelso said. “That was an ingenious lie you cocked up.”
“Nobody played psychological games better than your dad. Where you think I got the idea to lie to your fucking diva? From your dad. When he coached us in American Legion ball that one year, after he retired, he knew just how far to go on a guy, when to lay off, when to stroke a guy. He made up bullshit to console guys when they fucked up. I bet he used the same stuff running his business.”
Kelso nodded, ordered shots. “I don't know how the hell he got through all those years running the business, now that I'm doin' it. Workin' his ass off in that blighted store, drivin' around in the smog and the traffic, goin' down to the ghetto every morning at seven o'clock, making decisions on what to buy and what not to buy and dealing with each customer, each personality, the deadbeats, the chiselers, the whiners, bogged down in the goddam rat-race day after day, year after year, having to face one dilemma after another. It's so goddam stressful I don't know how he didn't become an alcoholic, and now I can see why he got so goddam irritable after working twelve hours a day and coming home to a smart-ass like me, always fucking up and challenging him and fighting with him, it must've driven him crazy on top of everything else. No wonder he couldn't stand the sight of me.” They drank the shots. “And now I'm tryna fill his shoes when everybody, including myself, knows it's impossible.”
“Nobody can fill his shoes, so don't sweat it.” Marstrulavich said, suddenly philosophic. “Way I see it, you been slacking off all your life, so now you're getting paid back. Life's a joke, and the joke's always on you. Way I see it, no matter how hard you work to keep life simplified, and easy, and painless, something always pops up and plays a dirty trick on you. That's why you gotta savor the peaceful times, the infrequent contentment, the very, very short high points, like winning big games, or getting laid by a good looking woman when you least expect it, or even, well, falling in love.”
Kelso gazed at his friend, weary, drained, drunk. “My dad's customers, and the salesmen he buys from, they all act friendly, glad-handin', like I'm their pal, cuz they know they're stuck with me, cuz they know dad's gonna die, but you can see they think I'm the lazy worthless bum of a son who's probly gonna lose the family bizness,” he ordered two more shots. “I'm the failure of a son who never filled his big league dad's shoes and now I gotta keep this bizness afloat, when this kind-a bizness is on the down-slide and the economy's goin' to shit and everybody's cryin' about how they're broke and can't pay their bills, and not only that, I gotta sell a bizness and a building right in the middle of one of the worst ghettos in the state and find somebody dumb enough to buy it.”
The shots came. They looked at them. Marstrulavich said, “I could never do what you're doing, but I think you can, cuz you got more of your dad in you than you think.”
They downed the shots. Kelso knocked over a stool in leaving, found himself wobbling down the alley past the sunset and veering toward the walking street leading to the strand when a jeep with top down pulled alongside him. Toni, behind the wheel, grinned at him.
“Hiiiii-ee, coach,” she said lazily.
Kelso halted. “Hey kid.”
“Need a ride home?”
Kelso got in. She drove to the rear of his bungalow and turned off the engine and leaned back against the door and continued grinning at him.
“The girls can't find out about this, Toni.”
“Of course not. It'll be our dirty little secret.”
Inside, she quickly stripped, revealing small breasts that stood out against her deep bikini tan like red-nippled snowballs. Her thighs were powerful and her nest trimmed to a wisp and she smiled at him as she began peeling off his clothes. When she finished, she stood back and took him in, and said, “I”ve seen you around for years now, yah know. I've always had the hots for you. You look like one of those statues in Rome, you dog.”
She went to her knees and took him by the hips and said, “I like to take over. You don't mind, do you.”
Kelso shook his head and eventually she pushed him onto his back on the bed and straddled him as Rocky banged through the open front window and sat on the side licking himself while the bed rocked and squeaked. After a while Rocky, who liked to sleep at the foot of the bed, jumped out the window to explore the night.