"kELSO'S SWING" [CHAPTER 29]
Kelso assembled the girls on the infield for their first practice of the season. Bat on shoulder, he wore the same Cincinnati cap which he'd lost during his binge with Marstrulavich celebrating their wiffle ball victory and found in the gutter on Manhattan beach Avenue three days later after it had been run over multiple times. Marstrulavich stood slouched off to the side, leaning on a bat, smoking. The girls repeatedly glanced at the two new additions that Kelso had already introduced.
“When a team smells success, especially when they come up from last place, they usually upgrade and make their move to win a pennant.” He told them. “They do it by trading, or, in today's game, picking up free agents. Today's game is mostly about money. What we have here is the purest form of competition, because we play for nothing, but wanna win just as bad as professionals.
“Kaycee and Toni have joined us. When the Cincinnati Reds traded for Joe Morgan back in the early seventies, the Reds, and Pete Rose, and Johnny bench, their stars and leaders, welcomed him with open arms, because Joe got them over the hump and they won two straight World Series. These two girls are our Joe Morgans. Toni joined us because she's a serious athlete who heard we're a serious team. Kaycee joined us because she'd rather play with some grubby scrappers than a pack of goddam prom queens used to being the center of attention and fawned over by a bunch of pretty boys who wouldn't know a real woman from a goddam Barbie Doll in a wax museum.
“This is our year to graduate from remedial softball to the real thing. So far, we've just flirted with winning. We've added two experienced players with power and speed who'll shore up our offense and defense. This is the year we run onto this field ready to play aggressively and confidently like a championship team, like the Yankees, bursting with esprit d' corps! Right, Marstrulavich?”
“Yeh,” Marstrulavich said, detached, without conviction.
“Yeh? What kind of answer is that? Where's your goddam enthusiasm? Aren't you excited when you wake up every morning with a blinding hangover and know you're gonna coach these girls and be part of their success and happiness?”
Marstrulavich flicked his cigarette in the dirt. “Yeh, I guess so,” he murmured, looking down.
“Marstrulavich is a master of understatement,” Kelso explained. “Because he's emotionally involved with you girls, so dedicated to you as human beings, he feels embarrassed and tries to hide his love for you girls. Right, Marstrulavich?”
Marstrulavich gazed off into the distance. “Whatever you say, coach.”
The girls chuckled as Marstrulavich's right decomposing tennis shoe pawed at the dirt. “Marstrulavich is troubled because he might have to do a tiny, tiny thing he doesn't want to do. He's a person who goes through life refusing to do anything that might interrupt his daily regimen of doing as little as possible and hopefully nothing. I'm sure he lost at least two minutes of sleep last night fretting over the first iota of stress he's faced since he got out of the army, poor thing.”
As Marstrulavich continued to gaze of f into the distance, Kelso said, “Okay, tigers, let's get going!”
During batting practice, Kelso tried Kaycee and Toni at third and was surprised how sound and slick a fielder and accurate thrower Toni was. He realized he'd have to find another position for Kaycee, whose vicious drives into left field—after Kelso made a subtle change in her holding the bat horizontal over her shoulder rather than than vertical up from her ear and told her “you'll be decapitating infielders with this swing”--had the girls in awe. Already she was warming up to the girls, who quickly took to her and easy-going, quietly confident Toni. After Kaycee hit, Kelso pulled her aside.
“I know I promised you third,” he said. “But I have a problem in the outfield. We have no arms out there, and little speed. I want you to play center and help our right fielder. Center's a position that demands an athlete. It's a perfect position for a power hitter with all the tools, and you'll be captain out there, calling for balls, calling out relays. I'll move Becki to right. Toni doesn't have the gun to throw out runners trying to score at home, and you do. She's perfect for third. Whattaya say, kid?”
She looked Kelso in the eye. “I'll do anything to fit in, coach. I really like these girls. They're way cool. But I'm no an outfielder. I've always played infield. You'll have to teach me.”
“Absolutely. You'll learn quick. Outfield's easy.”
“Then I'll do it. I don't wanna make trouble. I'm a team player.”
Kelso hit her fly ball after fly ball, had her retrating for rising line drives, charging high pop-ups. He showed her how to turn and go back on flies hit by Marstrulavich, to stay on the balls of her feet so her sight didn't joggle, how to charge grounders and come up with momentum to throw. He urged her to acclimate herself to the sound of ball hitting bat. She was an intent student, doing whatever Kelso told her, and when he returned to batting practice he asked Marstrulavich if he'd had his “little talk” with Annie yet, and he scuffed the ground and muttered he had not and didn't want tp. Kelso shook his head and told him to forget it and jogged out into right field.
Towering over Annie, he said, “Annie, I'm not gonna be able to start you this season. You're gonna have to be a substitute, the first off the bench when the team needs you, and we will need you.”
She smiled up at him. “It's okay, coach. I saw we had too many girls, and the new girls, they're so good, and so nice. I'm okay with it. I just want the team to be happy and win.”
Kelso exhaled. “I want you to stay involved, so I'm gonna make you our first base coach, Annie. Okay with you?”
Her face dropped, the first time he'd ever seen this sunny girl look unhappy. She seemed almost to tears. “But what about Marstrulavich? He's our first base coach. He's such a good coach. I would never take his job. I can't do that, coach. I'm sorry. Us girls love him there. He's our security blanket.”
Kelso wanted to hug her. “Well, okay, but I want you involved. You're a big part of this team, whether you play or not.”
“Then I'll be cheerleader! I was never a cheerleader in high school, cuz I wasn't into sports. But I'll root the girls on! It'll be so much fun,”
“Annie, I really appreciate your unselfishness.”
“Isn't that how you want us to be? We have to think of each other, right? And the girls ARE all way better than me, right?”
Kelso felt himself wanting to hug her, and she sensed he felt her wanting a hug, and though he was totally against hugging the girls and showing them any tenderness whatsoever, they exchanged a breif hug before kelso, bat in hand, jogged back to hit infield. He brushed by Martrulavich.
“Only thing disturbed Annie was taking your first base coaching job. She started crying because she can't bear to hurt you. So you still got first base, Mister jellyfish."
“When a team smells success, especially when they come up from last place, they usually upgrade and make their move to win a pennant.” He told them. “They do it by trading, or, in today's game, picking up free agents. Today's game is mostly about money. What we have here is the purest form of competition, because we play for nothing, but wanna win just as bad as professionals.
“Kaycee and Toni have joined us. When the Cincinnati Reds traded for Joe Morgan back in the early seventies, the Reds, and Pete Rose, and Johnny bench, their stars and leaders, welcomed him with open arms, because Joe got them over the hump and they won two straight World Series. These two girls are our Joe Morgans. Toni joined us because she's a serious athlete who heard we're a serious team. Kaycee joined us because she'd rather play with some grubby scrappers than a pack of goddam prom queens used to being the center of attention and fawned over by a bunch of pretty boys who wouldn't know a real woman from a goddam Barbie Doll in a wax museum.
“This is our year to graduate from remedial softball to the real thing. So far, we've just flirted with winning. We've added two experienced players with power and speed who'll shore up our offense and defense. This is the year we run onto this field ready to play aggressively and confidently like a championship team, like the Yankees, bursting with esprit d' corps! Right, Marstrulavich?”
“Yeh,” Marstrulavich said, detached, without conviction.
“Yeh? What kind of answer is that? Where's your goddam enthusiasm? Aren't you excited when you wake up every morning with a blinding hangover and know you're gonna coach these girls and be part of their success and happiness?”
Marstrulavich flicked his cigarette in the dirt. “Yeh, I guess so,” he murmured, looking down.
“Marstrulavich is a master of understatement,” Kelso explained. “Because he's emotionally involved with you girls, so dedicated to you as human beings, he feels embarrassed and tries to hide his love for you girls. Right, Marstrulavich?”
Marstrulavich gazed off into the distance. “Whatever you say, coach.”
The girls chuckled as Marstrulavich's right decomposing tennis shoe pawed at the dirt. “Marstrulavich is troubled because he might have to do a tiny, tiny thing he doesn't want to do. He's a person who goes through life refusing to do anything that might interrupt his daily regimen of doing as little as possible and hopefully nothing. I'm sure he lost at least two minutes of sleep last night fretting over the first iota of stress he's faced since he got out of the army, poor thing.”
As Marstrulavich continued to gaze of f into the distance, Kelso said, “Okay, tigers, let's get going!”
During batting practice, Kelso tried Kaycee and Toni at third and was surprised how sound and slick a fielder and accurate thrower Toni was. He realized he'd have to find another position for Kaycee, whose vicious drives into left field—after Kelso made a subtle change in her holding the bat horizontal over her shoulder rather than than vertical up from her ear and told her “you'll be decapitating infielders with this swing”--had the girls in awe. Already she was warming up to the girls, who quickly took to her and easy-going, quietly confident Toni. After Kaycee hit, Kelso pulled her aside.
“I know I promised you third,” he said. “But I have a problem in the outfield. We have no arms out there, and little speed. I want you to play center and help our right fielder. Center's a position that demands an athlete. It's a perfect position for a power hitter with all the tools, and you'll be captain out there, calling for balls, calling out relays. I'll move Becki to right. Toni doesn't have the gun to throw out runners trying to score at home, and you do. She's perfect for third. Whattaya say, kid?”
She looked Kelso in the eye. “I'll do anything to fit in, coach. I really like these girls. They're way cool. But I'm no an outfielder. I've always played infield. You'll have to teach me.”
“Absolutely. You'll learn quick. Outfield's easy.”
“Then I'll do it. I don't wanna make trouble. I'm a team player.”
Kelso hit her fly ball after fly ball, had her retrating for rising line drives, charging high pop-ups. He showed her how to turn and go back on flies hit by Marstrulavich, to stay on the balls of her feet so her sight didn't joggle, how to charge grounders and come up with momentum to throw. He urged her to acclimate herself to the sound of ball hitting bat. She was an intent student, doing whatever Kelso told her, and when he returned to batting practice he asked Marstrulavich if he'd had his “little talk” with Annie yet, and he scuffed the ground and muttered he had not and didn't want tp. Kelso shook his head and told him to forget it and jogged out into right field.
Towering over Annie, he said, “Annie, I'm not gonna be able to start you this season. You're gonna have to be a substitute, the first off the bench when the team needs you, and we will need you.”
She smiled up at him. “It's okay, coach. I saw we had too many girls, and the new girls, they're so good, and so nice. I'm okay with it. I just want the team to be happy and win.”
Kelso exhaled. “I want you to stay involved, so I'm gonna make you our first base coach, Annie. Okay with you?”
Her face dropped, the first time he'd ever seen this sunny girl look unhappy. She seemed almost to tears. “But what about Marstrulavich? He's our first base coach. He's such a good coach. I would never take his job. I can't do that, coach. I'm sorry. Us girls love him there. He's our security blanket.”
Kelso wanted to hug her. “Well, okay, but I want you involved. You're a big part of this team, whether you play or not.”
“Then I'll be cheerleader! I was never a cheerleader in high school, cuz I wasn't into sports. But I'll root the girls on! It'll be so much fun,”
“Annie, I really appreciate your unselfishness.”
“Isn't that how you want us to be? We have to think of each other, right? And the girls ARE all way better than me, right?”
Kelso felt himself wanting to hug her, and she sensed he felt her wanting a hug, and though he was totally against hugging the girls and showing them any tenderness whatsoever, they exchanged a breif hug before kelso, bat in hand, jogged back to hit infield. He brushed by Martrulavich.
“Only thing disturbed Annie was taking your first base coaching job. She started crying because she can't bear to hurt you. So you still got first base, Mister jellyfish."
